My First Post

Hello there you wonderful person. A glorious day to you. ​

The weekend of the 23rd of May was a very special time for us. That Saturday was supposed to be our official wedding day. You may be thinking "they kept that quiet". I know yes. Even though we were forced to alter our plans...we were already married through our eyes. We go on like a married couple.

I feel so comfortable with Patrick, literally we can be who we want and share our desires and dreams together.

Our originally planned wedding was decided while we were away on a New Year's adventure around Europe, as we were walking around a gorgeous European city. I love to visualise myself more confident and empowered. Patrick and I had gotten engaged 5 years ago, surrounded by his beautiful family, and there was a real buzz. I do not have any sisters, and most of my female cousins are of different ages and interests to myself. I grew up feeling there was something always missing from my reality. Patrick's sisters made a big deal of our engagement, and the day we got engaged was Patrick 30th too, well he mentioned it to me a few days previous and then he said he'll ask me again, then he said nothing. My head was truly melted let me say. But that's Patrick for you, he tests the water and then says nothing. 

That day was fantastic, in Patricks Mams home in county Roscommon. I had to pretend that it was so out of the blue, well I told his sister "Patrick proposed to me, but he said he'll do it again" When it happened for real, it did feel abit unreal. They were doing out his cake and Patrick said let's cut the cake. I was thinking "Patrick it's your cake and I'd make a mess cutting it" but that was just a trap to get me over surrounded by his family. I was really taken back in the moment and I froze a bit. Everyone was delighted. We got great pictures in the back garden and I happened to be wearing a crown because it was Patrick's 30th which really added to the occasion.

Patrick got very tired as the evening went on, I on the other hand was really getting more buzzed up. It turned out that I went to back to sleep in his sisters house with all of his sisters. When I went back home to Dublin they invited me back to Roscommon to get done up and go to the pub. It was the best feeling ever and I actually felt I had gotten engaged to his sisters. There was a stronger connection I had felt in that moment... if that makes sense. I was always very fond of his family and we have had some wonderful memories together.

Patrick and I began looking around wedding fairs etc for ideas, which was fantastic but it felt that we were going a bit "all out" for one day. I would get dressed up and all as there was no rolling up in my jogging gear ha. At the wedding fair I loved tasting the different foods. I really did want my magical day, and looked at as someone special.

We both really enjoyed the wedding fair, but I personally felt I would be getting married and my life would be the same...as I had not achieved much up until that point in my life. All Patrick and I had going on then in our lives was planning holidays. We would save and plan. That seems pretty cool, but the reality was it was like we were escaping from our own lives. I personally felt like I had nothing going on for me. On holidays it was fantastic, but I had nothing to look forward to when I returned home. All this dread and fear would gloom over me. Patrick was in the depths of working in a job he disliked which was very negative, and this drained him of enthusiasm.
We knew we both needed to change our lives, and begin to really appreciate not only going away...but also returning.

So, that September, in 2015. My first step was college. I applied for a Diploma level course in Psychology. Patrick joined the class too, for support as it was in the evenings. Little did we know, but that would be our first step and would open up both our worlds to completely unexpected levels of possibilities.

As I grew my knowledge more, and developed my personal growth from within, which is very important for my physical and mental health. I began doing things that I had never dreamt about. But I also began doing alot of things which I had always dreamt of too. As a little girl I had always dreamt of becoming an author, a public speaker (even though I could not verbally communicate properly), receiving fabulous opportunities and also meeting long time friends. Some of the kindest, loving and supportive  people began entering my life, all of whom matched my personality. We all love to laugh.

Patrick and I have achieved so much within such a relatively small space of time, and I am so grateful. We will continue to grow and to become more, because we are inspired towards help people... and seeing the light within people....even if they can't see it within themselves....yet.

So, getting back to the wedding, Patrick and I felt it was time for us.... because we forgot about us. It is about balance. Patrick and I decided to get married and we wanted to be officially husband and wife. We even got re-engaged on February 13th. It was amazing, and we laughed so much.

We were even due to go away to South America in June for our honeymoon. Patrick informed me of this on the 13th of February. We had talk about it lots and lots and I was thinking "it is all talk". I did not have the money to book it like I did with Australia years ago....but it turned out....Patrick had sorted it all out.

Roll on the next few months. Officially being Mrs. and Mr. Hogan 
Everything is working out for us. Each day I am falling in love with Patrick more and more..... 

...I think it's the goatee.

Thank you for reading.